Important Life Lessons Everyone Should Learn About Happiness and Peace

 Life Lessons I Learned Through Life's Ups and Downs

Life has a way of moving forward, whether we are ready for it or not. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, and this reality applies to everyone. Regardless of our fame, wealth, status, or achievements, I have seen many people who are still unhappy and dissatisfied with life. This made me realize that contentment does not come from material success alone. It comes from within. It depends on how we choose to see life and respond to the challenges it brings.

One thing I have learned is that everyone is carrying a burden we know nothing about. We often assume that the people we see smiling are living their best lives. Social media and outward appearances can make life seem perfect, but behind those smiles are struggles that many choose to keep private. Most people continue living their lives without making their pain obvious to others.

Listening to the stories of people around me has made me realize that our struggles are more common than we think. At times, I used to believe I was the only one feeling overwhelmed or lost, but hearing others share similar experiences reminded me that these emotions are simply part of being human.

Life is never a smooth journey. Every person faces unexpected twists, disappointments, and challenges. While I cannot say I have learned everything, there are a few lessons that have stayed with me over the years.

Talk Less to Protect our Peace

One lesson I learned the hard way is that we often say more than we need to. One of my friends once told me, "If we don't start the conversation, others have no reason to talk to us." That sentence stayed with me because I have always been someone who talks easily with everyone I meet.

If someone responds warmly, I tend to continue talking without realizing how much I have shared. Over time, I noticed that the more we share about our lives, the more we begin to expect attention, concern, understanding, and comfort from others. Unfortunately, not everyone is capable of giving us what we hope for. When those expectations are not met, disappointment follows.

Today, I believe it is wiser to speak about what is necessary and protect our inner peace. When emotions become overwhelming, writing them down has helped me more than talking to everyone around me. Whether it is a joyful memory, a personal achievement, or a painful experience, journaling allows me to process my emotions without expecting validation from others.

Not Everyone is happy in your happiness

I have never been good at hiding the happy moments in my life. While I rarely share what hurts me, I often share my achievements and joyful experiences.

As time passed, I realized that not everyone is genuinely happy when we succeed. Some people celebrate with us, while others silently compare or even feel uncomfortable seeing us do well. Accepting this reality was painful at first, but it also taught me an important lesson. Sometimes, the most beautiful moments in our lives are worth protecting rather than announcing to everyone. Happiness grows best when we stop depending on others to validate it.

Not Everyone deserves an Explanation

I used to believe that I had to explain myself whenever someone misunderstood me. If someone said I had failed to complete a task, I immediately wanted to explain every reason behind the delay.

Over time, I realized that explanations do not always change people's opinions. Some people only hear what they want to hear, regardless of the facts we present. Continuing to defend ourselves often drains our energy without changing the outcome.

This does not mean we should stop standing up for ourselves. Instead, it means choosing our battles wisely. Sometimes, protecting our peace is more valuable than winning an argument.

The Best Revenge Is Becoming Your Best Self

Life will always introduce us to people who doubt us, criticize us, or hope to see us fail. It is easy to become consumed by anger or resentment, but I have learned that the greatest revenge is not proving them wrong through words.

The greatest revenge is becoming the best version of ourselves.

When we continue growing, improving, and living happily despite negativity, we take away the power others have over us. We should never allow someone else's opinion to control our happiness or determine our worth.

Rebuilding Confidence Takes Time

There was once a time when I was proud of who I was. I spoke confidently, volunteered without hesitation, and never worried about what others thought of me.

Gradually, that confidence faded.

Listening too closely to the opinions of others slowly changed how I viewed myself. I began questioning my abilities, overthinking my actions, and seeking validation from people who never truly understood me. There were nights when anxiety kept me awake because I worried about what others might say.

Although those feelings still visit me from time to time, I can confidently say that I have come a long way. I have spent years rebuilding my confidence, and while I am still growing, I am much stronger than I once was.

People often see confidence on the outside without realizing the silent battles happening within. Even on difficult days, I continue moving forward because I have learned that healing is a journey, not a destination.

Hard Work is Not Always Rewarded

One of life's hardest lessons is realizing that hard work does not always lead to immediate success.

Sometimes we pour our hearts into something only to watch it fail. Sometimes we try our very best and still fall short.

For a long time, I believed that I had lived an ordinary life because I never gave one hundred percent to the opportunities I had. Looking back, I regret not trying harder during certain moments.

However, life has also taught me something hopeful.

It is never too late to start now. 

Some people find success in their twenties, while others discover it in their fifties. Comparing our journey with someone else's only steals our joy. Every person has a different timeline, and our time will come if we continue working toward it.

Learn to move with the Flow With Life

Life will continue changing whether we like it or not. Challenges will come, opportunities will appear unexpectedly, and disappointments will teach us lessons we never asked to learn.

The only thing we can truly control is how we respond.

Instead of resisting every obstacle, I have learned to move with life while staying true to the things that matter most to me. Growth often begins the moment we step outside our comfort zone. The risks we take today may become the happiness we experience tomorrow.

As I continue growing, I realize that life is not about achieving perfection. It is about finding peace within ourselves despite life's imperfections.

There will always be people who misunderstand us, criticize us, or fail to appreciate our efforts. There will also be dreams that do not come true and moments that leave us questioning everything.

But none of these should stop us from living.

Be kind to yourself. Protect your peace. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Keep learning, keep growing, and never stop believing that better days are ahead.

After all, true contentment is not found in what we own or what others think of us—it is found in how we choose to live each day.

 

Things I Learned After Becoming a Mother

Motherhood is a beautiful journey. By becoming a mother myself, I have started to understand the depth of love, care, and sacrifices that our own mothers have made for us. I now realize the hardships they endured and the difficult paths they walked just so we could live a peaceful life. They sacrificed their own needs so that we could enjoy our wants. The love and dedication of a mother are beyond measure, and motherhood has taught me countless lessons about life. I have always taken many things in my life for granted, but after becoming a mother, the way I see life has completely changed.

One of the greatest lessons I have learned is gratitude. I have learned that I do not need grand gestures or luxurious gifts to feel thankful. Simple moments, such as caring for my son, saying a prayer for his well-being, or receiving good wishes from others, fill my heart with deep gratitude. Every single day, I feel grateful for keeping my son safe and seeing his smile. I simply could not thank life any more for this precious blessing.

Another important lesson I have learned is that motherhood is not a competition, it is pure love. Before becoming a mother, we often imagine teaching our children everything and helping them achieve every milestone at the right time. However, motherhood has a way of changing our expectations. After becoming a mother, I realized that nothing matters more than my son's smile. The milestones that once seemed so important became less significant than his happiness, health, and the love we share every day.

In today's world, it is easy to compare our children with others. Social media platforms like TikTok have connected people from all generations, where one person's journey is constantly seen by others. We see babies who walk earlier, speak earlier, or learn things faster, and without realizing it, we begin to compare and wonder if our own children are falling behind. However, every child has a unique journey, and no two children grow in exactly the same way. As a mother, I have learned that patience is one of the greatest gifts I can give my child. If another child walks at one year and my child takes a little longer, that does not make him any less capable. He will walk when he is ready, and I will be there to celebrate that moment with the same happiness and joy. Every child is different, and every child deserves the same love, care, and encouragement. Comparison does not allow children to grow naturally, instead, it can create unnecessary pressure when we measure them against what we see on social media.

Motherhood has also taught me that it is normal to feel frustrated and lose our temper sometimes, as long as we do not hurt our children. We cannot always speak sweet words to our children every moment. There are times when we lose control and raise our voices because, as parents, we are human too. We become tired, overwhelmed, and stressed. Losing patience occasionally does not make us bad parents, what matters is how we respond afterward. We should be able to acknowledge our mistakes and show our children that everyone has the ability to learn, improve, and grow.

Parenting is not about being perfect every single moment. It is about loving our children, guiding them with good intentions, and trying our best every day. A moment of frustration does not erase the endless love we have for our children. Instead, it reminds us to become more mindful of our actions and continue striving to be better. Motherhood is a lifelong journey of learning, and through this journey, I have learned the importance of gratitude, patience, acceptance, and unconditional love.

Why gratitude matter and how it can change our life.

 Things I am grateful for in life

1. I am grateful for the beautiful motherhood that my son gave me. He always smiles at me and he understands me more than anyone would ever do. He gave me the reason I should be at my better version and the reason I should do the best. The energy he gives me and the motivation I see in my son make my life a lot better. I am grateful that I have him as my son and I will try my every best to give him the best life he deserves. 

2. As a working mom, things would have been so difficult without the help of my mother. Taking the role of baby sitter to take care of my son. I am forever grateful for her for giving me this life and now I am even more grateful for her for taking care of my son.  Though it aches my heart for not being able to do anything grand for her. She stood beside me for any decision I make in my life, she was there cheering for every little success I have and she just feels happy to see me living, giving a whole lot of reasons that I should do better in life. I was, I am and I will always be grateful to my mother.

3. My sister, on the other hand, is someone who is there in my life through thick and thin. She sacrificed a lot in her life just so we could get a better life. She chose the darker path, just so I could walk through the light. She ate the bitter foods, just so I could eat the sweeter ones. She did a lot more than I could ever say or remember in my life and I am not able to do anything to repay her. However, my gratitude towards her is profound and I will forever be indebted to her. 

4. In every life, I will wish for my parents and siblings to be mine again and again. There are so many reasons why I am grateful for my family and I never say these things out loud but I feel it all the time. They have shaped my life and through all the downfall of my life, they are there, just supporting and trusting the choice I make in life. Thank you for being my family. 

5. I know I am not blessed like many people, but I am always grateful to God for giving me and my family a life, where we get to eat, wear clothes and live a life without begging for anything. Where we get to earn and live our life without much hardships. I am grateful to God for surrounding me with good friends, good people and good everything. I have never forgotten my god, not even for a second. I am always grateful to God. 

6. I am grateful to all the hardships that I face in my life. I got to learn from it, I have become resilient, I learned to accept failure and rejections. With every rejection, with every failure, with every betrayal, with every mistake, my life is shaped and I don’t mean that I am at my better version. I am just grateful that I am becoming resilient and I learned to accept things. I am grateful that I am changing bit by bit to become a better version of myself. 

7. I am grateful for the career that I have now. I am grateful for the people who sacrificed the opportunity that I got to replace them. I don’t know what i would be doing if not for my current job but at least for now, I am comfortable in the work I do and I am grateful for the salary, praises/compliments, the smile on the face of people and even the scolding I get. I am equally grateful and even the colleagues that surround me are all commendable. I am grateful to the friends I got at my workplace, they are the shoulder I could lean on to and ears who would listen to my nonsense all along. I may not always be at my best to be the best to them but they are there for me throughout, thank you and thank you God for blessing me with this. 

8. There are times when I hit the rock bottom, where I am devastated and where I don’t feel like myself but all along, life is beautiful in many ways. I am grateful for all the people who helped me, who taught me a lesson, who listened to me and who made my life slightly easier. I am grateful for all the beautiful music I listened to and all the beautiful places that I visited. 

9. I am grateful that I learned to be grateful in this life. I hardly appreciate things in my life before. I always find fault in everything I encounter, I always defend myself by avoiding blames, and all along, I lost the sense of gratitude. If I get one, instead of being grateful for getting one, I would rather grieve over why I didn’t get two and that I lost the charm of life. Thanks to all the books I read and all the podcasts I listened to, it gave me a sense of appreciating little things in life. 

10. When I say family, it includes all, my parents to siblings to spouse to nieces and nephews, but my father deserves a loud thank you. He is a man who I trust the most and who I know for sure that will be in my life at my worst. I am grateful for all the sweats shed from you for my comfort. No one in the world will understand me like you will do and I am always grateful to you dad. No words ever describe my gratitude to you.

My gratitude is never for happening something so grand in my life. It is all for the little things that keep me going. Even for the girl who is so sweet and nice, who looks after my tt when my mom is not convenient. I will always be grateful to her for being super nice to my tt. She got all the love from my tt and I am grateful beyond words. 

Gratitude is a skill we all need to cultivate.. Without gratitude, even the greatest blessings can go unnoticed and life begins to feel mundane. It costs nothing to be grateful and expressing gratitude doesn’t always require grand gestures or expensive gifts. Sometimes, a sincere thank you and heart filled with appreciation are more than enough. 

When we choose gratitude, we begin to see life differently. We learn to appreciate not only the joys but also the lessons hidden in our struggles. A grateful heart seeing beauty in little things, strength in difficult times and hope for tomorrow. Feel gratitude and be grateful and the life you live in will be much better. Gratitude doesn’t change your circumstances but it will change the way you experience life. 

Thank you, thank you and thank you God. 

Be grateful for every little things

 A lunch and a grateful heart

Tucked away between villages, in a place embraced by peace and serenity, stands a quiet nunnery that fate somehow led me to visit. It is a place that fills the mind with peace and tranquility. Nuns and elderly people live there, quietly circumambulating the stupas while chanting mani prayers, creating an atmosphere of deep faith, simplicity, and serenity. We went there to offer our prayers and on the way, we came across a group of people clearing the road under scorching sun. Despite the heat and the demanding work, their faces were filled with smiles and a spirit of service. Witnessing their dedication and cooperation was truly heartwarming, and I deeply appreciated their hard work as we passed by.

Upon reaching the nunnery, we were warmly welcomed by a nun who graciously guided us through the premises with utmost sincerity and heartfelt hospitality. We offered our prayers and lit butter lamps, then circumambulated the majestic stupa. For a moment, we found ourselves lost in the beauty of nature surrounding us.

The nun kindly welcomed us for tea, which was served with such warmth and love. My heart was already filled with gratitude, and then they went on to prepare lunch for us. They called it a simple lunch, but it was truly a sumptuous feast. For them, it may have been just a simple meal, but for me, it was an expression of love, care, and heartfelt hospitality.

We offered a small amount as a token of our gratitude. Though it may seem modest, the feeling behind it was profound. What we experienced was beyond words, and it is something I will carry with me and remember always. Gratitude in life does not always come from financial help or grand gestures. It can be as simple as a cup of tea, a bottle of water, or a kind and polite conversation—small acts that can leave someone deeply grateful. Life becomes more beautiful with gratitude. Gratitude has the power to calm the mind and connect people with one another, because within gratitude lies the love, care, and understanding that people truly need.

Gratitude is a necessity—an intangible quality that can create tangible effects on the people around us. Be grateful, and let the love you carry be shared generously with the world.

Lessons Life Teaches Us

 

Silence Is Better

From being talkative to realizing that silence is often better, life truly teaches us many lessons. It is often said that we gain and lose everything through our words, and there is a lot of truth in that. Life does not always throw punches that can be dodged with strength, sometimes, it presents harsh realities that can only be handled by controlling our tongue. We are often so reactive and defensive that we believe every slap deserves a punch. Yet, there are moments when silence speaks louder than any argument.

Being able to speak, express our feelings, and ask for what we need is a blessing. However, silence also has the power to teach us patience, self-control, and wisdom. Sometimes, choosing not to respond, not reacting, not defending ourselves, but simply listening or walking away, can create a greater impact than a hundred spoken words. It may create chaos within us at first, and even confuse those around us, but it often protects our peace.

Many people fail to realize that words can be harmful. They can wound someone's heart, damage relationships, and in some cases, even push someone to the edge. That is why speaking wisely matters more than speaking often. Saying only what is necessary, sharing what truly matters, and choosing our words carefully are qualities of a good communicator. Anyone can talk endlessly, but not everyone knows how to communicate with purpose.

Listening is another skill that many of us lack. Some people appear deeply interested in what we say, yet their minds are somewhere else. True listening means making someone feel heard without interrupting, criticizing, or waiting for our turn to speak. It means offering our attention wholeheartedly.

Be grateful for the people who genuinely listen to you, with patience, kindness, and without judgment. Treasure those who offer constructive feedback, share valuable insights, encourage you with thoughtful words, or trust you enough to reveal their own insecurities. Not everyone feels safe enough to open up. If someone chooses you as their confidant, respect their trust and keep their conversations private.

At the same time, not everything in life needs to be shared. Some emotions are meant to be processed within ourselves before they are spoken aloud. Share when necessary, answer when asked, and ask only what truly needs to be known. Constantly sharing every emotional breakdown will not always help you heal. Talking excessively does not guarantee that people will stay, and revealing every thought you have does not necessarily make others understand you.

Sometimes, talking too much comes from the desire to feel loved, heard, or understood. Unfortunately, that vulnerability can leave you disappointed. There are people who will listen only to use your words against you later. They may repeat the very actions that hurt you, knowing exactly where your wounds are. Others may dismiss your feelings entirely, labeling you as dramatic simply because you chose honesty over silence.

When you are someone who believes in confronting problems immediately, talking things through, and solving misunderstandings, it can be heartbreaking to realize that not everyone communicates the same way. Some people refuse to have difficult conversations. They avoid them, ignore them, or make you feel like your emotions are a burden. Eventually, you begin to question yourself. Should you speak up or remain silent? Should you express your pain or swallow it just to keep the peace?

That inner conflict can become exhausting. Without someone who truly understands your emotions, your mind becomes filled with endless questions. You replay conversations, rethink every decision, imagine different outcomes, and wonder what you could have done differently. Sleep becomes difficult. You lie awake staring at the ceiling while the rest of the world sleeps, trapped in conversations that exist only inside your head.

Over time, you begin to understand that silence is not weakness. It is wisdom. Privacy is not secrecy, it is protection. Knowing yourself is more valuable than constantly seeking validation from others. Not every thought deserves to be spoken, not every emotion needs an audience, and not every battle requires an explanation.

In the end, silence does not mean you have nothing to say. It means you have learned that your peace is worth more than proving a point. Speak when your words add value. Listen more than you talk. And when silence protects your heart better than words ever could, choose silence.

SHE

 SHE

Feeling a little sad, she lay down on her bed and started scrolling through her phone, switching from one social media app to another. Every app she opened seemed to contain people sharing the very feelings she was experiencing. For a moment, she was lost in their words.

She has always thought she was the only one going through a lot in life, but seeing all those stories made her realize that we are never alone in our struggles. There are people who have everything and still not content about their life, and there are people who remain content even when life treats them harshly. The point is, like many are saying, contentment should come from within that no external influences can permanently make us fulfilled. 

She always thought that life would get better with time but just like games are getting harder with every level, her life was just the same. Every day brought new twists and challenges. She often felt upset, believing that life was unfair to her. She didn't realize that there were people going through far worse. 

She never thought of people without legs when she couldn’t afford a new pair of shoes. She grieved over not getting good foods to eat everyday, unaware that some people go to sleep hungry, not knowing where their next meal will come from. She sometimes feels her life is so mediocre but she didn’t know there are people who never get to stand a foot in a class and who never get to live like a normal human being. 

At times, she tried to be grateful for every little thing in her life. Yet many times, gratitude was overshadowed by resentment, melancholy, and confusion. She knew she was more privileged than many others. She lived a life that was respected and admired by many, but somehow she still couldn't feel at peace with herself.

She often felt unheard. Yet sometimes she found herself in a song, sometimes on the pages of a book, and sometimes in a caption written by a complete stranger. Whenever she saw her life described beautifully by someone she had never met, she felt understood. She felt less alone. She felt normal. Most importantly, she felt human. Perhaps that is why she used her phone as if it were a reliable and trustworthy companion. She read as though she were searching for something. And whenever she found nothing, she returned to overthinking everything all over again.

She listened to music and felt every melody deeply. She appreciated artists for creating masterpieces capable of comforting someone they would never meet. She admired them for creating moments of calm, peace, and even a sense of utopia amidst chaos.

She always looked forward to books and music but deep inside, she is just figuring out a life. She was filling in the missing  puzzle pieces, searching for answers and still showing up everyday with a broad smile. A smile that made people think she was content, that she had a perfect life, that nothing could bother her, and that she had everything figured out.  What people didn't know was that she was still trying to understand where things went wrong. Why did they say that? Why did they do that? Why her. And when the world slept, she was often awake, staring into the darkness and asking herself one simple question, Why?

Nevertheless, she continued to trust time and she still believed that everything will eventually fall into place. She found happiness in the happiness of others. She celebrated people's victories and remained grateful for the blessings in her own life. After all, she was grateful simply to have been born human, to have experienced life in all its beauty and hardship, and to believe that one day, she would understand it all.

As you read this, perhaps you can find a little of yourself in her. If you do, know that whatever you are feeling, whatever you are thinking, and whatever is happening in your life is normal. These experiences are part of being human. They happen to everyone in different ways, and your time will come too.

I relate so much to her, and perhaps she relates just as much to me.

In the end, all we can do is trust the timing.

Love Yourself a Bit More

 Love yourself a bit more.

Be appreciative of how some people live their life, irrespective of what other people say about them or whatever hardships life throws at them. At some point they might seem arrogant, egoistic and carefree, but deep down, nobody knows what they are going through inside. Some people choose self love above anything and simply try to live a better life no matter what. 

There was a girl who was often criticized for being different. Yet despite the bad comments and harsh words, she chose herself. She chose to treat herself better and she chose to live her life. There were times when I intentionally skipped the videos of her but overtime, I learned something from her. Her consistency, her resilience and her self love is something I should learn from her and unknowingly, she taught me so much. I feel appreciated every time I see her now. 

I don’t resort to giving bad comments or giving feedback when I encounter people on social media who seem flashy and clumsy, I rather choose to skip or ignore their videos and I like this part about myself. There are quite a few people whom I don’t like watching their content but it keeps coming on my page everytime. Over time, upon seeing their videos repeatedly, I learned that they were not being flashy, nor trying to get attention, nor being self-centered but they are just living their life, choosing peace and calm and getting through their own challenges and hardships. 

It was never their fault. It was my own assumptions that made it difficult for me to accept some people. I failed to see the love, care, and lessons each person carried within them. When I think deeply about it, life itself is beautiful because of the highs and lows that shape each one of us.

With time, I need to be more appreciative of the things happening around and I need to look deeply into the situations. There are people who teach us without saying anything and also some situations which make us a lot wiser and a lot more humble. 

There were times, when everything felt like it was targeted towards you. You will be knocked down over and over again by life and it will throw lots of hardships. Time may seem lengthy, everything seems dark, people seem rude and the road seems harsher but this is just the way of life testing our patience, it is a time where we should be resilient and try to stand up on every fall. The grass on the other side of the meadow looks greener, it is just life deluding you to the wrong way, you should be firm enough to keep your decisions intact. 

Life treats everyone in much the same way. Each of us carries our own share of joys and sorrows, victories and struggles. When life throws everything it has at us, it is our responsibility to shield ourselves, keep moving forward, and build a better future. Contentment cannot be found elsewhere. It can only be found when we learn to create it within ourselves.

So love yourself a little more. You never know how much strength, peace, and wisdom can grow from that simple choice.

Cheers!

 

Everything Ends With Me

As a child, I was pampered and appreciated by my parents. I was an excellent student growing up, and I rarely involved myself in any kind of behavior that would worry them. I used to be the first one to raise my hand to answer questions in class, and I was so proactive that there was a time when 98% of the students voted for me to be their school captain.

There was a time when extempore speeches, debates, and morning speeches were among my interests. I had no fear of standing in front of people and speaking my mind. On every result day, I never thought that I would fail. Instead, I looked forward to it because I was confident that I would pass. I did not fear examinations, rather, I welcomed them. I was always ready for whatever came my way.

I cannot really say that I was a good leader, but I never lost an election. Looking back, I was confident, outspoken, and eager to take on challenges. There was really nothing that bothered me.

However, confidence does not disappear overnight. There were times when I was criticized, looked down upon, and told things that gradually made me lose my confidence and self-esteem. Every remark may seem funny and harmless at the time, but it carries the power to damage someone’s confidence.

My parents always hoped for the best from me, and there was never a time when they thought I would fail. They believed I was perfect and excellent. At the same time, every criticism from friends and teachers slowly changed the way I saw myself. Becoming a leader and being disliked by some people made me lower my guard and believe that perhaps I should never be a leader. I began to think that I was never meant to lead.

Over time, I started hiding myself. Every remark, every expectation, and every criticism shaped my life. The confident child who once enjoyed speaking in front of others slowly became someone who preferred to stay quiet. Eventually, that became my identity.

Now, I don’t like speaking in public. I don’t like being the center of attention, and I never feel confident when I am in a crowd. When I have to do things without being able to escape, I expect the best from myself, and when failure takes over, it becomes hard for me to accept it. Despite everything that happened, I managed to get through school, passing every class and semester with average marks. Still, I was grateful to earn a degree. If not for a bit of good fortune, I might have ended up feeling like a failure, and that would have hurt me deeply even today.

As I grew older, I became accustomed to going with the flow of life. I became comfortable with mediocrity as long as I remained in my comfort zone. I got used to living a life without many twists, challenges, or hardships. As long as I had a stable job, received my salary, and lived a peaceful life, I felt that everything was fine.

Yet a part of me always wanted more. I have been trying my best to change this mindset and these habits. I constantly strive to become the best version of myself. I read books, listen to podcasts, and work every day to improve myself, but I still struggle to embrace hardships, uncertainty, and unexpected challenges.

When I look back, I understand where many of my behaviors came from. Growing up, if I did not listen, my parents would scold me and sometimes beat me. Teachers also had the authority to hit, humiliate, and cane students. Because I was raised this way, I sometimes find myself speaking harshly to others and becoming angry more easily than I would like. But for me, one thing remains intact, I am confident that EVERYTHING ENDS WITH ME.

My child will have opportunities that I never had. I want him to explore the world freely and discover who he is. I want to be the first person he thinks of whenever he encounters a problem. I want to be the kind of mother he can rely on, someone with whom he can share whatever is bothering him without fear of judgment.

I will celebrate his happiness. With every passion, every little idea, and every choice he makes, I will be there, not to criticize, but to support him and help him navigate his way toward his goals.

I will stand up for my child if he ever loses his confidence or if he is harmed by educators or anyone else through public humiliation, shaming, or actions that damage his self-worth. People can change, and mistakes can be corrected in private. Publicly shaming young minds is never the right way to deal with children. If we do that, I believe we are failing as parents, guardians, teachers, or as individuals.

Things have changed. The world has evolved, and rapid modernization is taking place. There are now many agencies protecting young minds, and corporal punishment has been banned. As a parent, I should also evolve toward better things.

I have great respect for educators who dedicate their lives to helping thousands of students move closer to their goals. However, respect does not mean accepting practices that hurt children. Just because I was publicly shamed does not mean I will do the same to my child. Just because I was expected to be a perfect daughter does not mean I will expect my child to be perfect.

I will raise my child with patience, putting him first, respecting his choices, appreciating him for who he is, and teaching him how to navigate toward a brighter future while doing what he loves. I will guide him with kindness, encouragement, and understanding.

The criticism, the shame, the fear of failure, and the unrealistic expectations end with me. My child will not inherit those burdens.

Having said that, I don’t mean to spoil my child or let him go astray. I don’t mean to let him do whatever he wants, nor do I want him to follow the wrong path. I simply want to nurture him with the values he needs, and with the love, understanding, and care he deserves, to help him live a life where he never feels pressured, and to show him how beautiful life can be.

What it means to be consistent.

Consistency is the key. What we keep doing consistently will definitely bring the result we looked forward to. It rewards us with the goal accomplished and that is why being consistent feels way too difficult. Why?

We make way too difficult and overwhelming plans, we try to do things beyond our means and when we reach exhaustion, we lose consistency. I am someone, who believes so much in consistency that I always tell myself that with consistency, I will get the result but the result I look forward to was never achieved because I lost my consistency to my lethargy, I lost my consistency to my mood swings, I lost my consistency to the thoughts of life’s uncertainty and I lost my consistency to enjoy. 

I stay on diet for two days and then binge eating all the things I love. I do some workout for two days and when my body aches, I care for it so much that the workout is gone for weeks. I read two days in a row and when there is some trailer of a drama then I devote all my time into finishing this 16 or 20 episodes of drama. I promised myself time and again to talk less and when I encountered someone with the same vibe, I ended up talking endlessly for hours. So, in short, my consistency at the max is just 2 or 3 days and then I failed to bring myself to it again. 

I believe that with consistency, things will become habit and then we may never lose track of whatever we are doing but things have never become my habit. I have a habit of scrolling through my phone for hours, I have the habit of sleeping too late and waking up too late, I have the habit of eating so much that instead of energy, it puts me to lie on my bed and laziness will take over. I have the habit of eating all those unhealthy foods that eating healthy feels like a torture. As I lived on so far, I always failed to adopt reading as my habit. I failed to adopt staying active and eating healthy as my habit, I failed to adopt praying as my habit and everything was replaced by lying on the bed, scrolling through the feeds watching drama, eating noodles, gossiping and the first thing I do the moment I open my eyes is to check every social media app. 

I have been doing these things over and over again consistently and it has become a habit, I need no effort to do all these things. I promised so many things to myself, yet I never changed because I failed to stay consistent. Somewhere around February or March this year, I started the habit of writing down three things I was grateful for each day. I did it regularly for a while, but there were days when I forgot to write and other days when I felt too lazy to do it. Gradually, I lost consistency, and now I hardly write at all. My initial plan was to continue for a year. My gratitude jar was almost full, and I hope to start filling it again.

I have tried to lose weight many times throughout the year, but due to a lack of consistency, I failed every time. I tried doing prostrations but couldn’t continue beyond a week. I tried jogging but gave up after two days. I tried dieting but ended up binge eating repeatedly. Fast forward, I gave birth and gained a lot of weight instead of losing it. I totally believe that only if I keep the things that I did consistently, I will be in a better shape right now. Only if I never lose consistently, I will be proud of myself for keeping it intact right now. I listened to a podcast and the speaker said, you lose consistency because you keep things way too tight for yourself that you fail to achieve it. So, I will try to do all the things that I wish to do all over again but this time, by maintaining consistency. A few weeks ago, I uninstalled my snapchat, and promised myself never to upload anything on social media for a year. I think I have made this plan way too tight for me, so I am trying it at least for 6 months. 

I may not be able to diet or do intense workout for my weight loss so, I will at least try to stay active and try to eat carefully. I will try to avoid eating junk/unhealthy foods and instead try the foods which are healthy and which are up to my taste. I don’t really say addiction but I am glued to my phone every minute, so I will try to stay without my phone, at least for an hour everyday during which I will read, or play with the children in my home. From the 24 hours of my day, I will try to devote at least 30 minutes of my time to reading and I hope it becomes my habit because I will try to keep it consistent for a month. 

There really is nothing you can’t achieve with consistency, so try small and keep it consistent that you will become the person you aspire to be, you will love the person you have become. Make plans that are doable and that doesn’t exhaust you. Be content and getting out of your comfort zone will one day lead you to success, not so grand but grand enough to make yourself proud. 

Working, Trying and Tired Mom!

Lying on the bed, staring at the empty ceiling while the fan spun at its highest speed, thoughts came one after another. Beside me was someone sleeping so soundly and peacefully, and on that calm face, I saw eternity. On that calm face, I saw innocence and trust.

I grew up making grand plans and ended up doing a mediocre job, trusting that time would eventually put everything in its place. Somewhere between mistakes and blessings, I hold you tightly in my arms, wondering what I can do next to make you proud one day. My heart skips a beat when you smile, and it melts when you cutely call me "Ama." As I lie there, I feel overwhelmed with joy to have you in my life.

Living this ordinary life while carrying hopes and dreams of giving you an extraordinary one, life does not always feel smooth. The uncertainty of life is what scares me the most. What if life takes me away before you get to see the real world? Your existence has become one of my greatest reasons to keep going, and I am forever grateful to have you in my life.

I have never met anyone as understanding as you or anyone who loves me as much as you do in my almost three decades of existence. When I sit on my phone, trying to distract myself, you quietly lie beside me and slowly drift off to sleep without expecting anything. Then, when I pull you into my arms, you greet me with the warmest smile. At times, you do not seem like a toddler at all. How can you understand me so well when you are not even two years old?

You follow me around everywhere and have somehow accepted that I must leave for the office whenever I put on my kira each morning. The smile you give me as you wave goodbye, hoping to see me again soon, aches my heart every single day.

The way your eyes sparkle the moment you see me, just waiting for a hug before throwing one of your little tantrums, has completely captured my heart. You were, you are, and you will always be my greatest joy, my reason, my gratitude, and my everything.

Things do not always go smoothly. Sometimes, I lose my temper with you. Sometimes, I do not feel like myself. Sometimes, I want to be alone. Yet somehow, you give me the space I need and the warmth I seek. You are so innocent, yet so powerful in the way you light up my life.

Forever grateful, I will choose you over and over again, my dearest TT.

 

Life’s twist for you, savour it!

 There is no point in hating other people because our life is never guaranteed and we don't see what twists life has for us. Imagine quarreling with your family and you never open your eyes then, no apologies, no last words, no goodbye and nothing but regrets and only IFs. So why try so hard to be rude?

Being sharp tongued or brutally honest doesn’t make one an angel nor an honest or trustworthy person, you rather become someone’s insecurities, someone’s low self-esteem and reason some people never want to hang out with people. 

Anyone can be rude, anyone can hate and anyone is capable of doing what you are capable of doing but they chose calm or chaos and peace over anything. They chose to stay silent rather than to point out somebody’s scars. They chose good words to correct the other party that life can be beautiful from that point of view. No enemy, no hate, no chaos and just a beautiful life, enjoying to the fullest.

People cry because of regret, people regret because of not being able to cherish it before it fades, and people ignore because we believe it is abundant. It is forever, forever can be years, decades, or  centuries but it fades in no time, in no time suns sets, flower wilts, love fades, marriage ends, relationship breaks, weather changes and people die. 

Everything has an end, and that alone is enough to believe that there is no reason to hate, no reason to wish another bad life, life already has its own twist for each and everyone and people hit their rock bottom. People smile and go on with their life but we never know what somebody is going through in their life. We never know and we never value it unless it starts to fade. Some people go on with their life like nothing bothers them but in reality they just chose to stay silent because they know there is no happiness in explaining and expecting. 

Deep appreciation to all the people who try to live their life without harming others and with no expectations to be cared for. Be grateful for every little thing that life has offered you and be appreciative for all the things and people that surround you. Nothing is permanent and many things are inevitable, face it with a smile.  

Cheers!

The Silent Struggle of Losing Confidence and Identity

How many of us live life thinking that life is impermanent? Few, I guess. We live as if we have all the time in the world. We are so rude to others, and we talk about staying forever, but when is forever? When does forever come to an end? How long is forever?

Born very sensitive, and as I grew, I witnessed countless arguments. Taught to be tough and rough, I eventually became someone who talks harshly and never wanted to lose. The goal of becoming someone smart, the goal of coming first in exams, the goal of being the leader, and the goal of knowing everything—growing up was never the right path, I guess. I have never been diagnosed with any disorder or mental health issue, but when was the last time I did something sane?

Attachments, possessiveness, and the need to be perfect dragged me so far backward before I could even realize it. Sometimes, I want to blame my parents so badly for raising me like this, but then again, I believe in my mind so much. Irrespective of external influences, at the end of the day, it is us, and only us, who make the difference. From being very sharp-tongued to filtering everything I say, I am somehow proud of becoming who I am today. However, somewhere, things went wrong, and before I realized it, I was possessed, and now I am having difficulty getting out. I always feel insecure, scared, and anxious. I just don't understand why. I have tried so many things, but nothing seemed to work. Some days, it feels right, and on other days, that very same thing feels very wrong.

It is a choice in life that I need to make, but it has been so long that I have given my validation to others and not to myself. I believe it is never too late to start now, and with this urge to become the woman I aspire to be, I hope I never lose myself. Over the last few years, or perhaps a decade, I have lost myself completely. I have chosen the wrong path even when I knew very well what the right one was.

Financial discipline is one thing that I am extremely bad at. I fail to live within my means, and it does nothing but hurt me more and more at the end of the day. My mindset of having to be excellent left me at the bottom, to the point that I don't even have the courage to call my family members or relatives.

Even before I could figure out my life, I became a mother myself, and now I live a life fulfilling my obligations while trying to be the best mother to my son. Nothing has felt better, yet it feels like I am living day after day, trying not to get caught while feeling insecure, lacking confidence, and being at my worst.